You know you are an engineer when…

[Gordon WParticipant @gordonw]

I do not believe that story. No engineer could afford to play golf.

[Ady1Participant @ady1]

A mathematician and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The mathematician leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The mathematician persists and explains that the game is real easy and lots of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5."

Again, the engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The mathematician, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"

This catches the engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The mathematician asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the mathematician Now, it's the engineer's turn. He asks the mathematician "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down on four?"

The mathematician looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the engineer and hands him $50. The engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The mathematician then hits the engineer, saying, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The engineer calmly pulls out his wallet, hands the mathematician five bucks, and goes back to sleep.

Edited By Ady1 on 10/07/2012 10:38:56

[David Clark 13Participant @davidclark13]

An Engineer would not waste time playing golf.

(Unless he was the boss of an engineering company.)

regards David

Edited By David Clark 1 on 10/07/2012 10:46:49

[Richard ParsonsParticipant @richardparsons61721]

When a Manager says “You cannot do/make that that it will not work” The Engineer is the person who replies “I wish you had told me that last week I would not have wasted my time making two of them” and then adding “Oh by the way they work!”.

[Geoff TheasbyParticipant @geofftheasby]

when you don't throw away the pump-action soap dispenser from the bathroom, because it has all that precision engineering in the pump, and you buy liquid soap in bulk as a consequence.

[John FirthParticipant @johnfirth68150]

Your Wife takes you to the Rijks Museum In Amsterdam, to see the paintings of the fabulous Dutch artists, and looks at you in utter amazemant when she finds you pouring all over the 'newly installed all glass' hydrualic lifts instead.

[Ian S CParticipant @iansc]

Gordon, if the engineer is a consultant for a govement department, he can well aford a game of golf, he could proberbly own the golf course. Ian S C

[mickParticipant @mick65121]

A line from one of Clive James songs has always stayed with me "forty years of metal tends to get under your skin and the green cleansing jelly only goes to rub it in!"

[Steve GarnettParticipant @stevegarnett62550]

Posted by Gordon W on 10/07/2012 10:37:08:

I do not believe that story. No engineer could afford to play golf.

I think you may be mistaking the playing of golf with being a member of a golf club… 9 holes of golf on a public course really doesn't cost a lot.

And as for being a 'waste of time' – I don't think this has been thought through, because actually it isn't. If you spend all day sitting at a desk, or stuck in your shed hardly moving, then the lack of exercise will probably increase your blood pressure, and almost certainly won't improve your general health. Half a round of golf once a week doesn't take too long, and if you carry your clubs and do a reasonable job of playing, you'll get enough exercise to set you up for at least the next couple of days, and you'll almost certainly increase your longevity.

Doesn't have to be golf – any form of regular cardiovascular exercise will help. There are other benefits too – you'll find that generally your brain functions better if you do this regularly. Chances are that you'll get back all of the time you spent exercising as a result of this.

Have to say that I wasn't convinced about any of this until I actually tried it – and over a few months it made more difference than I would have credited at all.

[Sub MandrelParticipant @submandrel]

When:

You make your own brake pipes because you don't trust someone else to do it.

You treat 'we fit it for free' as a personal insult.

You change a nut because you don't want anyone to see the stlilson/mole grip marks on it.

You finally work up the courage to change a valve!

Your car was better because the most complex electrical component was the flasher relay.

When you choose the place to buy tyres for your car because they use a wheelbrace to nip up the bolts, not a 30-second blast on the air-wrench.

Nothing gives you more satisfaction than doing all your MOT work yourself.

Neil

Edited By Stub Mandrel on 10/07/2012 21:14:28

[Jim GreetheadParticipant @jimgreethead]

Best thing about golf is that if you tee off at 0630 on a Sunday morning, you are finished by 1030 and don't feel guilty about having a beer in the clubhouse.

Jim

[Ian HewsonParticipant @ianhewson99641]

Wish my golf club bar opened at 10-30!!

Ian

[John FirthParticipant @johnfirth68150]

As an Engineer ages it's not uncommon at times of stress to have the thoughts that Horse Power seemed to be a whole lot better when the horses had control over it.

[ZigFireParticipant @zigfire]

You know you are an engineer when… you sign your cheques in pencil.

[keithmartParticipant @keithmart]

LAST MUNF I COUDN'T EVEN SPELL INJINEER, NOW I ARE ONE!

[Gordon WParticipant @gordonw]

Playing golf does not make you live longer, just feels like it. BTW living in Scotland can't get get away from it. Try explaining to your golfer friend why you have spent all day repairing ,say , the lawn mower instead of just buying a new one.

[David LittlewoodParticipant @davidlittlewood51847]

A real engineer would prefer to make a robot to do the golf thing for him.

David

[Ian S CParticipant @iansc]

Depends which part ofthe world you live inwhether you can aford to play. Back in the 1970s I lived in Cromwell, Central Otago, and a group of gentlemen (5 or 6) used to fly from Tokio, Japan about once a month, and played two rounds of golf. The return flight from Japan was cheaper than a round of golf in Japan, Although first you had to become a member, with a ten year + weighting time, and a few thousand Yen per anum. I seem to remember they were engineers. Ian S C

[Jim GreetheadParticipant @jimgreethead]

… when the best part of the cruise was the tour of the engine room

Jim

[GaryMParticipant @garym]

It seems to me that there are some similarities between golf and engineering. They are both ways of doing something that is relatively easy in a more difficult way. The engineer will spend time making or repairing something that can often be bought more cheaply. And if the object of golf is to get the ball in the hole why start 200 yards away.

Also you know you are an engineer when you are reading this forum.

Gary

[Nicholas FarrParticipant @nicholasfarr14254]

Posted by Gary Marland on 11/07/2012 13:53:50:

It seems to me that there are some similarities between golf and engineering. They are both ways of doing something that is relatively easy in a more difficult way. The engineer will spend time making or repairing something that can often be bought more cheaply. And if the object of golf is to get the ball in the hole why start 200 yards away.

Also you know you are an engineer when you are reading this forum.

Gary

Another similarity is that they hit the objective with a weighted object on the end of a handle of some kind to get it to work.

Regards Nick.

[GoCreateParticipant @gocreate]

When you finally get the correct diagnosis for your suffering.

But there is no cure.

Nigel

Edited By tractionengine42 on 11/07/2012 14:35:49

[WolfieParticipant @wolfie]

Whats golf and can I make it on my lathe??

[Steve GarnettParticipant @stevegarnett62550]

Posted by Wolfie on 12/07/2012 00:10:18:

Whats golf and can I make it on my lathe??

Some of it you could, yes. There's a pot thing in the middle of the green that you could easily turn from the solid. A bit unsatisfying though – the white dimpled thing that rolls into it isn't exactly supposed to be an interference fit… and also, if you don't want quite so much exercise, you could build yourself a golf cart. Or, if you want to be really flash about it, make a motorised one so your colleagues can despise you.

And if you want a really interesting CNC milling exercise, you could have a go at making the bats.

[Richard ParsonsParticipant @richardparsons61721]

Bats, Bats? I thought the lived in 'Belfries' and were self reproducing. (I do not know which is which but they do !)

Rdgs

Dick

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