You know you are an engineer when…

This topic has 67 replies, 35 voices, and was last updated 14 July 2012 at 05:13 by Springbok.

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9 July 2012 at 16:45 #93993
jason udall
Participant
@jasonudall57142
your slide rules have accessories
Advert

9 July 2012 at 16:45 #6229
jason udall
Participant
@jasonudall57142
9 July 2012 at 17:02 #93994
Tractor man
Participant
@tractorman
You dream in metric and imperial units

T
9 July 2012 at 17:09 #93997
David Littlewood
Participant
@davidlittlewood51847
A friend loses a widget such as a window lock key, and you find the easiest way to help is to nip into the workshop and make another one.

David
9 July 2012 at 17:47 #94001
martin perman 1
Participant
@martinperman1
neighbours constantly asking can you fix the impossible
9 July 2012 at 18:03 #94003
V8Eng
Participant
@v8eng
When the simple jobs do not work, but the complicated ones do!

Edited By V8Eng on 09/07/2012 18:03:53
9 July 2012 at 18:07 #94006
Gray62
Participant
@gray62
you wake up next to a beautiful woman thinking… I know how to fix that widget!!!!!
9 July 2012 at 18:48 #94009
_Paul_
Participant
@_paul_
You check the finsh of every metal object you pick up
9 July 2012 at 19:08 #94010
Lambton
Participant
@lambton
Henry Ford said 'An engineer is one who can do for $1 what any fool can do for $2'.
9 July 2012 at 19:33 #94011
Clive Hartland
Participant
@clivehartland94829
Always make two of everything, they will always want another one!

Clive
9 July 2012 at 20:23 #94016
Steve Garnett
Participant
@stevegarnett62550
… when everybody in the street knows where to get stuff fixed. Generally we should charge more for doing this – after all, most of the seemingly never-ending queue of customers got or get paid more than we did, or do…
9 July 2012 at 20:28 #94017
frank brown
Participant
@frankbrown22225
You wash your hands before going to the toilet.

Frank
9 July 2012 at 20:47 #94019
Anonymous
Posted by jason udall on 09/07/2012 16:45:20:

your slide rules have accessories

Ah well, that rules me out then……….

Andrew

PS: I think that the quote ascribed to Henry Ford actually comes from 'Slide Rule', Neville Shute Norway's autobiography.
9 July 2012 at 21:47 #94025
Sub Mandrel
Participant
@submandrel
And IIRC it's a pound and five bob.

Neil
9 July 2012 at 22:27 #94032
Nicholas Farr
Participant
@nicholasfarr14254
Or when you have to figure some mechanical problem out and you get told; "Well your the engineer!"

Regards Nick.
9 July 2012 at 22:34 #94034
John Stevenson 1
Participant
@johnstevenson1
When you are stood in church looking up at the internal butresses and realise they they would make ace line shaft supports.

John S.
9 July 2012 at 23:13 #94038
Martin Walsh 1
Participant
@martinwalsh1
When you have made a major cock up and managed to cover it up

Best Wishes Martin
9 July 2012 at 23:22 #94039
John Stevenson 1
Participant
@johnstevenson1
Posted by Martin Walsh 1 on 09/07/2012 23:13:13:

When you have made a major cock up and managed to cover it up

Best Wishes Martin

Sorry no, that's not being an engineer, thats just a normal day.
9 July 2012 at 23:29 #94042
jason udall
Participant
@jasonudall57142
'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No
Evil.
For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'
– Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-
9 July 2012 at 23:35 #94043
jason udall
Participant
@jasonudall57142
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
9 July 2012 at 23:35 #94044
jason udall
Participant
@jasonudall57142
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
10 July 2012 at 00:21 #94046
Ady1
Participant
@ady1
You put it all back together again and it works fine and those extra nuts and bolts you found lying about after the rebuild don't seem to have mattered after all

Edited By Ady1 on 10/07/2012 00:24:04
10 July 2012 at 00:27 #94047
Ady1
Participant
@ady1
You spend 4 hours rebuilding a widget you could have got for a quid in poundland
10 July 2012 at 09:42 #94054
Ian S C
Participant
@iansc
I help the bloke I do some work for each year reparing angle grinders that he go for about $NZ15, any we do get going are then worth about $NZ40 and will last about 6 months.

Or this morning I woke up after dreaming about what I'd do if I had to sell up my workshop, and move the lathe and mill out. Ian S C
10 July 2012 at 10:17 #94057
Steve Garnett
Participant
@stevegarnett62550
A Doctor, Social Worker and an Engineer arrive at their golf club early one morning for a quick round. But in front of them on the first tee are three people who appear to be blind, and the greenkeeper is doing his best to help them.

After quite a long wait, these three eventually manage to tee off, and are heading off approximately towards where their balls went. So our three quietly ask the greenkeeper what's going on. "Oh, don't you remember the bad accident when the clubhouse was rebuilt? These three were working on it at the time, and had their eyes badly damaged in the flying debris – they're virtually blind. Since then we've let them play here free."

The Doctor is horrified. He says "I must get them into my surgery at once and see if there's anything at all I can do for them."

The Social Worker is equally concerned. He says "I must check up on their disability benefits, and make sure that they're getting everything they're entitled to."

The Engineer isn't quite so impressed. He just says "Why can't they play at night?"
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