Hobby related jokes

[Billy BeanParticipant @billybean67480]

A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, "That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them."

The ophthalmologist added, "Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to see if there's anything I can do for them."

They were silent for a moment.

Then the engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

[Brian Sweeting 2Participant @briansweeting2]

Posted by Martin 100 on 27/02/2018 10:55:05:

Using the manufacturing techniques Myford used to use you might see why 8k was the price to the customer.

But with the 'new Myford' it's difficult to see how it's ended up the same price. For sure it's a lot more 'complicated' than a boxy relatively rough piece of cast iron from the far east, and it's almost certainly better finished but it's one hell a lot of money for not much metal. It only comes with one chuck and is powered by a 0.75kW motor.

But it's not actually '8k' its actually 8150 + VAT

A staggering £9780

To put that in perspective for 30k (plus VAT) you can buy a very capable (far east built with UK support) 3 axis CNC vertical machining centre with an 18" x 14" x 14" axis travel, an 8k CAT40 spindle with a 7.5kW motor (machine weight 2.6 tonne) or for that same 30k (plus VAT) a CNC turning centre that will swing a foot diameter, a foot long, with a 12 station turret, with a 6000rpm spindle powered by a 13kW motor (machine weight 3.2 tonne)

Of course neither of those will sit in the corner of a tiny shed but 9780 quid for just 180kg of machinery? That's 54 quid per kg or £24.50 per pound or £1.50 per ounce

If you have to explain a joke then it isn't funny.

[Mick B1Participant @mickb1]

Posted by Hopper on 27/02/2018 11:29:27:

Posted by Mick Charity on 25/02/2018 07:33:32:

The primary function of design is to make it difficult to fabricate & impossible to service.

The Designer

…
So just to make the machinist squeal
I'll make him mill it from tungsten steel
…

Huh. He will of course have enquired with Purchasing, to make sure to specify a material only available on a 26-week leadtime – he knows he's not allowed to use real Unobtainium.

The machinist won't be squealing until Production Control are already off sick with stress-related symptoms.

[John HaineParticipant @johnhaine32865]

Know the one about the new supersonic fighter that the wings kept falling off? No one could figure it out, all the calcs said it should work, so in desperation they held a competition for suggestions. Loads of ideas came in and they all failed. At last the boss was just about to admit defeat, but asked if there wasn't just one idea they hadn't tried? Well, they said, there was only old Joe the cleaner's, but what did he know and anyway, it was such a silly idea… "Never mind that, just try it!" he said. So they did, drilling a row of small closely spaced holes along each wing root. So they flew the plane and it worked perfectly, no sign of any break up any more, problem solved. They awarded Joe the big prize, and the chief engineer sidled up to him afterwards and asked how he know what do do? "Well, you don't clean the bogs round this place for 50 years without learning that toilet paper never tears along the perforations…."

[John ReeseParticipant @johnreese12848]

From my nephew, an auto mechanic:

An automotive engineer would climb over 10 naked women to screw an auto mechanic.

[Martin 100Participant @martin100]

Posted by Brian Sweeting on 27/02/2018 14:46:21:

If you have to explain a joke then it isn't funny.

Yet quoting 1132 characters to add one line of piffle is?

Excuse me I shall have to go to A&E as my sides have surely split

[GeorgineerParticipant @georgineer]

Boys, Boys! Play nicely now.

[Enough!Participant @enough]

Posted by Martin 100 on 27/02/2018 20:00:54:

Yet quoting 1132 characters to add one line of piffle is?

You counted them?

[Mark RandParticipant @markrand96270]

Hey, don't knock the £8,150 ML7B connoisseurs! Folks were willing to pay £50,000 for Hardinge HLV-H 5.5×24 lathes.

 

PS:- My HLV (no -H) cost £150 plus 4 years of work to re-build it.

Edited By Mark Rand on 28/02/2018 00:26:45

[MWParticipant @mw27036]

Posted by Mick B1 on 27/02/2018 14:47:58:

The machinist won't be squealing until Production Control are already off sick with stress-related symptoms.

Cmon Mick, that's a low blow.

It's better to take time off than being run into the ground like some people are.

To add another joke; 

"I used to think the air was free… until I bought a packet of crisps!" 

Michael W

Edited By Michael-w on 28/02/2018 10:58:41

[Mick B1Participant @mickb1]

Posted by Michael-w on 28/02/2018 10:54:16:

Posted by Mick B1 on 27/02/2018 14:47:58:

The machinist won't be squealing until Production Control are already off sick with stress-related symptoms.

Cmon Mick, that's a low blow.

It's better to take time off than being run into the ground like some people are.

…

Michael W

 

Wouldn't dispute that for a moment. ProdCon was a hard row to hoe, leastways with manual MRP/CRP and no Firm Planned timefences.

Edited By Mick B1 on 28/02/2018 19:06:57

[Halton TankParticipant @haltontank]

As an engineer I try to design things that are idiot proof.

Trouble is, they are making better idiots !

Luigi.

[Author]

Posts