GaryM,
While speeds and feeds do not need to be slavishly followed, they can give useful guidance for particular combinations of cutters and materials. Knowledge of cutting speeds in low carbon steel may have saved a few ruined cutters in the recent slitting saw thread on this forum. 
As a guide 1hp will allow the removal of 1 cubic inch of low carbon steel per minute. With the figures you mentioned I calculate that you're removing about 0.01 cubic inch per minute. Your mill should be capable of at least an order of magnitude increase on that.
For HSS steel cutters in low carbon steel a rough rule of thumb is 100sfm cutting speed. For a 12mm cutter that gives about 800rpm. So you could go faster, but 500rpm is fine, it's not that critical.
I'll make an assumption that your end mill is four flute, so at 500rpm and 100mm/min you have a load per tooth of 0.05mm, ie, about 2 thou. If the power is available you could probably double the feedrate, but it is perfectly acceptable as is, and is large enough to avoid chatter.
Personally I find that 'dabbing' coolant on is a waste of time; either nothing or flood coolant for me. However, I would agree that soluble oil is the way to go, and is what I use on all my machines. Tapping oil is designed to be 'sticky' so that it adheres to the tap, and holds the chips. Which is opposite of what you want for milling.
I also have one rule for cutting tools:
Never buy cheap cutting tools – they're a waste of money
Oh, and if anybody says that as amateurs we don't need to worry about feeds 'n' speeds my response would be that the metal doesn't know it's being cutting by an amateur on a small machine, so why not at least be aware of the information available.
I hope that helps, or at least provides food for thought.
Regards,
Andrew