Coronavirus

[Martin WParticipant @martinw]

And every sheet of that 50,000 tons of Izal paper will have GOVERNMENT PROPERTY printed on it in a precisely specified place and font. One side rough and t'other smooth, rumour had it that it like that to accommodate both male and female use.! Long gone are the five hole planks in the garden privy with the various types of paper hung on a nail driven into the wood. Mind you were never alone with all the insect life that decided this was a good place to call home. Ah those were the good old days.

[martin perman 1Participant @martinperman1]

I always thought dock leaves were the go to wiper to use.

Martin P

[old martParticipant @oldmart]

The downward spiral began when the News Of The World went bust, you know what they always said of that paper.

Anyone qualifying for a pneumonia inoculation who hasn't had one yet should think seriously about getting one.

[V8EngParticipant @v8eng]

Posted by martin perman on 06/03/2020 17:08:43:

I always thought dock leaves were the go to wiper to use.

Martin P

Definitely after you’d accidentally squatted in the stinging nettles.

Edited By V8Eng on 06/03/2020 18:03:12

[WearyParticipant @weary]

This thread merely confirms the limits to my education. So, how exactly does one "prepare" Izal medicated toilet-paper before use?

I have 'googled' and searched youtube without success. Perhaps, in ignorance, I am using the wrong search terms tho'.

Regards, in anticipation of someone sharing what could become crucial information.

Phil

Edited By Weary on 06/03/2020 18:31:45

[JAParticipant @ja]

Posted by old mart on 06/03/2020 17:43:01:

Anyone qualifying for a pneumonia inoculation who hasn't had one yet should think seriously about getting one.

Now I am going to get morbid. I am 73 and do think about old age and death. I do not want to live to a great age with limited mental capacity etc. I want a good peaceful death. To that end I have, so far, refused the pneumonia inoculation.

You can call me stupid.

As for toilet paper, I will panic when the local supermarket has no tinned soup.

JA

[Ex contributorParticipant @mgnbuk]

So, how exactly does one "prepare" Izal medicated toilet-paper before use?

Take one or more sheets, as required. Screw up the sheets into a ball & roll the ball between your palms. Straighten out the ball & the sheets will be found to be softer, without the shiny surface. Repeat the process a number of times if a softer result is required.

As for toilet paper, I will panic when the local supermarket has no tinned soup.

A novel, if somewhat messy, alternative use for tinned soup.

Nigel B.

[Harry WilkesParticipant @harrywilkes58467]

Surprised just had a delivery from Amazon and before handing me my parcel the driver said 'I must warn you that this parcel as been handled several times and you should wash your hands after handling it'

Needless to say I did as suggested

H

[JC54Participant @jc54]

Wasn't Izal one step up from John Wayne paper? Rough, Tough, and didn't take no *^&( from anyone?

I was just leaving….

[SamsarandaParticipant @samsaranda]

Was under the impression that those returning from Italy are obliged to self isolate, it appears that flight crews travelling to and from Italy do not have to, is this a glaring loophole in the governments master plan to protect us from the Coronavirus!
Dave W

[doubletopParticipant @doubletop]

Originating from Australia and just sharing here.

[duncan webster 1Participant @duncanwebster1]

Posted by JC54 on 07/03/2020 19:05:00:

Wasn't Izal one step up from John Wayne paper? Rough, Tough, and didn't take no *^&( from anyone?

I was just leaving….

I thought Izal was for rubbing paintwork down.

[CHARLES lipscombeParticipant @charleslipscombe16059]

It will be interesting to see if the F1 race in Melbourne goes ahead next week. I am sure it will because of the money involved and money is always the main deciding factor. It would mean the entire Ferrari entourage from close to the corona hotspot in Northern Italy will enter Australia without quarantine restrictions.

We have also had a case of a doctor who had been overseas, had flu-like symptoms and went to work treating 70 patients. He is now confirmed as having corona virus.The government have quarantined all 70 patients.

Am I optimistic that corona virus will be contained – what do you think?

[Harry WilkesParticipant @harrywilkes58467]

Posted by Samsaranda on 07/03/2020 19:23:54:

Was under the impression that those returning from Italy are obliged to self isolate, it appears that flight crews travelling to and from Italy do not have to, is this a glaring loophole in the governments master plan to protect us from the Coronavirus!
Dave W

Could'nt agree more those who live in the west mids may recall a couple of weeks back he chap who had returned from Milan felt poorly rang 111 told them he was feeling unwell and not long returned from Italy and was told to go to A&E needless to say panic ensued closing the A&E until deep cleaned

H

[Danny M2ZParticipant @dannym2z]

Some pretty desperate ladies here toilet paper brawl

Next week it will be rice, pasta and flour being hoarded

Then canned food

* Danny M *

[Mike PooleParticipant @mikepoole82104]

Toilet paper at home has always been soft, at school and the early days of work were a revelation that such a useless item as Izal existed. In an emergency it could be used as tracing paper but was absolutely rubbish for the paperwork after a number two. I can only conclude that skids in ones underpants must have been a common problem before soft paper. The preconditioning of the paper did not really work although it was better than straight off the roll. God knows what generation snowflake would do if the only had Izal in their safe space.

Mike

[HopperParticipant @hopper]

Interesting how all of a sudden everone is listening to what the scientific experts have to say. The science-denying climate change deniers and anti-vaxxers have all gone very quiet. These virus scientific experts must be a different breed of scientist fron those conspiring to line their pockets with grant money and pharma sales and create a one world government through "alarmism".

[Kiwi BlokeParticipant @kiwibloke62605]

Well, 'thread drift' has allowed this thread to reach rock bottom, so, unashamedly continuing the theme… Anyone who has tried to clean chocolate spread off the face of a toddler, using only dry tissues, soon discovers it's impossible and will appreciate the superior cleansing abilities of 'wet wipes'. Pity they clog up the sewage works. In fact, dry tissue is such a poor cleaner, it's not surprising that cultures which use water for 'personal cleansing' (or whatever the PC term is) look upon the western paper-wiping world with scorn.

This forum is a mine of information – perhaps someone can enlighten me, especially in view of the possible imminent paper shortage. Having been far abroad and seen milk bottles half-full of water in lower-class conveniences and small hand-held shower-heads on flexible hoses in more salubrious ones, how on earth is one supposed to use water instead of paper, without getting it everywhere? Such knowledge could be very useful soon…

[Ady1Participant @ady1]

Not that bothered

over the last 40 years we've been pretty spoilt and they've cured virtually al the big nasties

We were wandering about with scarlet fever typhoid tetanus polio mumps measles bla bla bla for time immemorial around us before more recent times

Never come across diphtheria or rubella or cholera though

A dozen plus nasties, pretty much all gone from society now

One nasty was bound to sneak through eventually, and we're living like rats in a box nowadays, all packed together to maxmise capitalist efficiency

"Aye, he'll be gone by tomorrow morning" used to a common phrase as the doctor left the family home

We can only watch and wait, the gods will decide our fate

As least we'll all have clean bums when we go

[Michael GilliganParticipant @michaelgilligan61133]

Posted by Kiwi Bloke on 08/03/2020 07:42:07:

[…] it's not surprising that cultures which use water for 'personal cleansing' (or whatever the PC term is) look upon the western paper-wiping world with scorn.

This forum is a mine of information – perhaps someone can enlighten me, especially in view of the possible imminent paper shortage. Having been far abroad and seen milk bottles half-full of water in lower-class conveniences and small hand-held shower-heads on flexible hoses in more salubrious ones, how on earth is one supposed to use water instead of paper, without getting it everywhere? Such knowledge could be very useful soon…

.

Chatting to our son, yesterday … He is working in Laos : He mentioned that very point of scorn.

The high prevailing temperatures apparently make the use of a ‘bum jet’ [sic] quite reasonable.

MichaelG.

.

P.S. … He was, however, concerned about the locals’ habit of coughing and spitting.

[Ady1Participant @ady1]

It's in those those poorer places like in Africa India south America etc where this thing is going to be totally rampant

It could be carnage for them

The press doesn't seem to be talking about it either

Edited By Ady1 on 08/03/2020 08:20:02

[pgk pgkParticipant @pgkpgk17461]

The best of both worlds for the rear end is paper first then a bidet. The clean joy since having for for the last 9years cannot be overemphasised. As for the third world.. well I;ve seen folk wiping their faecal hands on the stall walls when the paper had been stolen again..

As far as governments caring baout the third world: Yes when there's olitical capital to be made and trade deals for foreign aid but a virus that kills the elderly. disadvantaged, homeless and overcrowded? Every politicians' dream come true if they can keep the economy running….

A cabinet minister has just stated that UK is well prepared to cope with coronavirus – so we're doomed. This is the same minister that claimed he'd talked to supermarkets about keeping supplies running- just that none of the supermarket big brass were able to confirm such a meeting..

Politicians needn't worry about washing their hands – they've been teflon coated so long…

[Ady1Participant @ady1]

A bit of info on the numbers coming out of China

The male smoking rates in China have been like Britain in the 40s and 50s so that will add to their woes, 4 in every 10 fags smoked are puffed in China

 

Edited By Ady1 on 08/03/2020 09:54:11

[Stewart HartParticipant @stewarthart90345]

My Grandmother once wrote to Winston Churchill on Izal toilet paper to complain about the meagre widows pension apologising to the great man for using toilet paper as she couldn't afford proper writing paper.

Stew

[JAParticipant @ja]

Just got back from the supermarket. As expected there is no toilet paper, no worry. There appears to be a run on the alternative – tinned soups and tomatoes!

No doubt by Tuesday there will be so much toilet paper that it will be stacked in the car park.

JA

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