Christmas Cracker Jokes .. and similar

[Howard LewisParticipant @howardlewis46836]

How does Father Christmas dig his garden so quickly?

He uses a Hoe Hoe Hoe

I'll get my coat!

Howard

[GeorgineerParticipant @georgineer]

Posted by Bazyle on 24/12/2020 14:18:21:

London Zoo announced the birth of a new panda, who will be named Michael.

Bazyle,

I'm still trying to get my head round this one.

George B.

[BazyleParticipant @bazyle]

George I was just taking the Mick(ey)

[Grindstone CowboyParticipant @grindstonecowboy]

Bing Crosby said to David Bowie: "My inflatable rubber bottom has gone flat"

David: "Then you must borrow my rubber bum pump"

Bing: "Rubber bum pump?"

David: "Rubber bum pump"

Well, it made the kids laugh…

[GeorgineerParticipant @georgineer]

Posted by Bazyle on 26/12/2020 13:26:33:

George I was just taking the Mick(ey)

Thanks Bazyle – I'll try to keep up.

Grindstone Cowboy (I wish I'd thought of that!):

Q: What was the world's first inflatable sailing boat?

A: The Rubber Yacht of Omar Khayyam.

George B.

[Michael GilliganParticipant @michaelgilligan61133]

Posted by Bazyle on 26/12/2020 13:26:33:

George I was just taking the Mick(ey)

.

Silly me … I presumed that you had simply omitted a comma

”London Zoo announced the birth of a new panda, who will be named, Michael.”

would have made reasonable grammatical sense

[ but would still not be funny ]

MichaelG.

[roy entwistleParticipant @royentwistle24699]

MichaelG. and George B Try Panda Mick ( pandemic ?)

Roy

[Grindstone CowboyParticipant @grindstonecowboy]

Posted by roy entwistle on 27/12/2020 14:01:28:

MichaelG. and George B Try Panda Mick ( pandemic ?)

Roy

Thanks Roy, it had me baffled, but now I like it

[Michael GilliganParticipant @michaelgilligan61133]

Posted by roy entwistle on 27/12/2020 14:01:28:

MichaelG. and George B Try Panda Mick ( pandemic ?)

Roy

.

Sorry folks … being a Michael, who does not answer to Mick or Mike, I missed it completely

MichaelG.

[Nicholas FarrParticipant @nicholasfarr14254]

Hi, what does a Snowperson wear on their head?

Answer; an Ice cap.

Regards Nick.

[Nigel BennettParticipant @nigelbennett69913]

Go on then…

Two Eskimos in a canoe. They lit a fire in it to cook their lunch.

The canoe caught fire and sank.

Because you can't have your kayak and heat it.

(I'm sorry I'll Read That Again)

[ChrisHParticipant @chrish]

Why are the Chinese no good at cricket?

Because they eat all the bats……..

[Author]

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