Vidar, thanks for the info, definitely worth looking into
Here is what I did today in the shop.
First I cleaned up a piece of 304 stainless and put somewhat of a mirror finish on it as I would on a sculpture for example

Then flattened a pair on electrodes, these are the copper coated ones.

and cleaned up the flat on the carbon electrodes

I then applied some heat using the highest output my machine will do and about the amount of time needed to melt the solder. Here is the resulting marks. Carbon electrodes on the left and copper coated ones on the right.

I then cleaned up a bit with a small buff wheel and green chrome using a rotary tool like I would in tight spaces. Sorry, this time the carbon are on the right and copper clad on the left.

As you can see the carbon ones leaves much less of a mark. The copper even deposited a bit of copper on the surface. So I think the carbon electrodes are my best bet and what I need to try and improve.
Here is a pic to give an idea of size and other concerns like a curved surfaces and also to show how hard it is to get close keeping in mind that I also need to be able to stick a solder wire in there.

That’s why as much as I like the sacrificial plate idea I don’t see how to implement it.
Mind you the amount of scarring is not that bad. I might have to live with it or find a way to incorporate it in the design. But I would still like to see if I can’t minimize it some more first.
Thanks again for looking and all your help. I’ll post more as I find it and of course feel free if an idea no matter what jumps to mind.