Shades of black humour

[JimmieSParticipant @jimmies]

Number 1 son rings Mum. “Where’s Dad?” “In the attic changing one of LED battens” she replies. “Could I speak to him.” I then get the phone handed up to be asked if I could help Mum up into the attic. “Why?” “It’s much easier for the Coroner when there is a witness to an electrocution”.

And he was brought up to have respect for OAPs.

Anyone else experience similar ‘concerns’ from their off springs?

[PlasmaParticipant @plasma]

The lad had a point? I once dealt with just such an electrocution and the coroner was a bit stuck as there were no witnesses to the actual shock. Just a newly widowed woman who said her husband was cutting the hedge when he cut through the wire. He sat down to repair the wire but didn’t unplug it.

[Speedy Builder5Participant @speedybuilder5]

Our son in Australia wants me to install Life360 on our mobiles so they can see where we are in France! (age related family problems). Now I can see when his phone is less than 10% charged and that our Grandson has come home from school.

They soon got fed up with me texting them to say their phone needed charging. I deleted the app when I found it was gobbling up phone memory. Apple’s Find a Friend works well for me. My wife and I use it to see where we are before we put the morning coffee on.

[John MCParticipant @johnmc39344]

Time in India left us fond of a good curry.  we have accumulated lots of spices in jars.  We decided that we needed to a new spice jar rack.  One was bought, assembled, and the jars arranged in alphabetical order.   My offspring looked at the completed job and ask “which alphabet did you use?”…..

[Graham TitmanParticipant @grahamtitman81812]

My granddaughter is 35 this year and her mother still blames me for her taste in music

[Hugh Stewart-Smith 1Participant @hughstewart-smith1]

[Chris CrewParticipant @chriscrew66644]

When we married my wife and I agreed that she would make all the small decisions and I would make all the big decisions. Over all the years of our marriage there have never yet been any big decisions!

[Taf_PembsParticipant @taf_pembs]

Not quite in the same ilk as I I’m only in my 50’s but –

A good while ago we went out on a bicycle ride.. Mum up front, our youngish daughter in the middle and me following up.

The Young un shouts out (to make sure everyone around could hear) ‘Mum – That bike seat is far too small for your bum!’

I had to stop and sit down for a bit with tears running down my cheeks.

[Grizzly bearParticipant @grizzlybear]

@ Chris Crew,

Your post was so funny, but true.

I’m still in the recovery position.

[Harry WilkesParticipant @harrywilkes58467]

Many years back I worked with two electricians bothers the elder old sadly passed away a few months later the remaining one had a row with the foreman who threatened him with the sack to which he replied ‘you can sack me but you can’t sack ‘ower kid’ the foreman replied ‘why can’t I sack him’ ’cause he’s dead’ was the reply

H

[pgk pgkParticipant @pgkpgk17461]

Gallows humour.

These days I’m a widower living alone rurally. I pop onto the pub at the weekend for a beer and ‘shoot the breeze’ with fellow geriatrics.

It occurred to me to suggest we all stuck some money behind the bar and held a book on who was going to croak first. That idea fell over when we all nominated the same chap.

The alternative we came up with was a kitty for the last man standing…Another idea that fell apart when one wag pointed out he’d have no-one to drink it with.

[Harry WilkesParticipant @harrywilkes58467]

You could do what a friend of mine did last year he held his wake saying he was doing whilst alive so he could attend

H

[ChrisLHParticipant @chrislh]

Young lad came back late after lunch.

Foreman: Where’ve you been ?

Lad: Been for a haircut

F: In works time ?

L: Grew in works time

F: Didn’t all grow in works time.

L: Didn’t have it all cut off !

[Author]

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