Always say nice things to them.  This notice was above the photocopier in the Philosophy Department, University of Reading

Warning

This machine is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical need.  A special circuit in the machine called a critical detector senses the operator’s emotional state in terms of how desperate he or she is to use the machine. The ‘critical detector’ then creates a malfunction proportional to the desperation of the operator. Threatening the machine with violence only aggravates the situation. Likewise attempts to use another machine may cause it also to malfunction.  They belong to the same union.  Keep cool and say nice things to the machine.  Nothing else seems to work. 

Never let anything mechanical know that you are in a hurry.

I’m not sure whether I’m talking to the tools or to myself (therapy is available) but I do swear at myself when producing yet another piece of scrap. 🤣🤣

Of course I talk to my tools and, until a few years ago, my motorcycles. They are some of the very few sane things, people, I know. I only swear at the workshop elves.

Don’t tell anyone else!

JA

I don’t talk to my tools but certainly have “words” with me when I drop, break, or lose one!

A few years ago Walker Midgely were selling steam-engineering equivalents to that University of Reading notice – laminated sheets not about photocopiers but very similar in ideas, about injectors.

Of course I talk to my tools. When  one considers the kind of conversation available around here, it makes more sense.

If you are rich and do so, your are just eccentric

If you are poor and do so—– you are nuts !

I am an original thinker, you are an eccentric, he is a raving lunatic

Cold, hard, unyielding, often sharp. Why talk to tools? I talk to my wife.