Hi Nigel ,
Honing is done with solid fine stone – like piece of a slipstone . It is usually done in a controlled manner using a manufactured 'hone' with one or more stones and a means of adjustment .
Lapping is done using grinding paste on a soft metal (or wood/Tufnol etc ) tool which is just rubbed against the job . Tools are often improvised but usually have simple means of adjustment .
There is a backwards version of lapping where grinding paste is applied to a flat surface and the work rubbed against it .
Both honing an lapping are capable of producing high accuracy work .
As usual there is much more to it .
Michael Williams