J’accuse

[pgk pgkParticipant @pgkpgk17461]

Mysteries of the other half

[pgk pgkParticipant @pgkpgk17461]

V: "You've taken my hammer!"

Me "No I haven't."

V: "It's not in any of the kitchen drawers."

Me "I have my own hammers in my hammer drawer in my Hobby shed. If you had a hammer drawer you'ld know where your hammer is."

V: "I've only got one hammer so why would i need a hammer drawer?"

Me "Well, you'ld know where your hammer was for a start."

V:"I keep it in one of the kitchen drawers"

Me "..randomly, with all the other junk…"

V: "I've looked everywhere. You've got it"

Me "No. You can borrow one of mine. Far end hobby shed third drawer down… ball pein, claw, tack hammers, different weights and handles also wooden, plastic, rubber, copper and leather mallets and my best carving mallet. Put it back after.

V: "I bet you took it."

Me "Where did you use it last?"

V: "Ages ago."

Me "Not when…Where.."

V: "I put a picture up in my hobby room."

Me "Have you looked on the floor underneath that picture?"

V "Oh…."

[Jeff DaymanParticipant @jeffdayman43397]

Sounds like my house, if you substitute "scissors" for "hammer"!

[Ady1Participant @ady1]

It's bank cards with mine

Managed to stop her cancelling her cards a couple of times now

Even located a diamond which popped out of the engagement ring once

It was squirreled in with the dirt and fluff at a Morrisons checkout she'd used that day

[Harry WilkesParticipant @harrywilkes58467]

It's craft dies for me I must be making cards on the side

H

[Howard LewisParticipant @howardlewis46836]

You name it, it fall into the argument, one day!

And the sword is double edged; so BEWARE!

Howard

[GeorgineerParticipant @georgineer]

A friend of mine is verger at a big local church. She solved the problem of workmen wandering off with her tools by buying pink ones with flowers on, or painting them pink. It works a treat.

George B.

[JC54Participant @jc54]

it all sounds familiar

[Ed DuffnerParticipant @edduffner79357]

Je vis seul, pas de probleme!

Eduard.

Edited By Ed Duffner on 07/02/2020 01:18:18

[not done it yetParticipant @notdoneityet]

My better half tends to lose items far less often than I do. But when I check where she has previously ‘searched’ I get hell! But, so often, that is where the lost item is to be found! Car keys in handbag, cutlery items in the cutlery draw, lost items in coat pockets, etc. Can’t win, either way.🙂

[Russell EberhardtParticipant @russelleberhardt48058]

Posted by Ed Duffner on 07/02/2020 01:17:55:

Je vis seul, pas de probleme!

Do you live alone or screw alone

Russell

[Howard LewisParticipant @howardlewis46836]

Stick to the thread, Russell

Howard

[martin perman 1Participant @martinperman1]

It seems I hace the better half of all, if I placed a series of tools on the kitchen side and asked her to identify any of them she wouldnt have a clue what they were or how to use them, the only tools my wife knows about involve cooking, cleaning equipment is down to me because of her lack of mobility  

Martin P

Edited By martin perman on 07/02/2020 14:46:53

[Russell EberhardtParticipant @russelleberhardt48058]

Posted by Howard Lewis on 07/02/2020 13:17:28:

Stick to the thread, Russell

Howard

Sorry if I offended you Howard. Just pointing out an amusing ambiguity in the French language. "Je vis" can mean "I live" and also "I screw".

Russell

[Howard LewisParticipant @howardlewis46836]

No problem Russell.

My French has deteriorated, despite attempts to use it, since O level in 1955! So I learned something!

Howard

[Roderick JenkinsParticipant @roderickjenkins93242]

"He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her" John 8:7

[Howard LewisParticipant @howardlewis46836]

Rod,

I couldn't remember the Gospel, Chapter and Verse. (Along with far too many things these days )

Howard

[DalboyParticipant @dalboy]

I have got to the stage that if I lose something I just ask the wife she is like a dog with a bone until she finds it for me. Normally it is just in front of me on the bench and not hidden under anything

[Howard LewisParticipant @howardlewis46836]

Strange!

My 6" rule is ALWAYS behind me.

Howard

[Roderick JenkinsParticipant @roderickjenkins93242]

Posted by Howard Lewis on 07/02/2020 15:51:21:

I couldn't remember the Gospel, Chapter and Verse.

Nor could I but Google could

[Nick WheelerParticipant @nickwheeler]

Posted by Howard Lewis on 07/02/2020 17:59:11:

Strange!

My 6" rule is ALWAYS behind me.

Howard

I have to keep several of them(well, 150mm rules), as they disappear when not in my hand. I don't have this problem with ANY other tool; can anyone explain this?

[Howard LewisParticipant @howardlewis46836]

A while ago, someone posted a picture of the little man in his workshop who takes things and hides them.

He visited me and hid most of the No. 61 to 80 drills when I dropped the box!

Howard

[Mike PooleParticipant @mikepoole82104]

Sweep the floor with a big magnet and get as far under things as possible. I dropped a pound in the pub the other night and found it ten feet away.

Mike

[Author]

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