"Borrowed" from a motorbike forum
|John Coates||25/08/2012 09:20:20|
558 forum posts
Have you seen that alternative to wd40 , its called "start ya ******* " , it really does say this on the tin !!!!
|392 forum posts|
A few more:
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in
4129 forum posts
Philips screwdriver: A device for the efficient removal of crossed slots from screwheads
Edited By Ady1 on 25/08/2012 10:35:16
314 forum posts
Thanks John, Andy and Ady. Still laughing.
543 forum posts
Lol thank you gents
|Swarf, Mostly!||25/08/2012 13:35:27|
|556 forum posts|
Not a tool, but ...
Swarf: a floor covering material used to save valuable components and small tools from daylight and discovery.
|Steve Garnett||25/08/2012 22:29:40|
|837 forum posts|
Oh, there are more - mostly American, so I Anglicised them:
Phone - Tool for calling your neighbour Chris to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.
Snap-On Gasket Scraper - Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dogshit off your boot.
Timing Light - A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup on crankshaft pulleys.
Tweezers - A tool for removing wood splinters.
Air Compressor: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power station 200 miles away, and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty suspension bolts last tightened 40 years ago by someone in Abingdon, Oxfordshire - and promptly proceeds to round them off.
Radial Arm Saw: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most workshops to scare neophytes into choosing another line of work.
Edited By Steve Garnett on 25/08/2012 22:37:12
|Steve Garnett||25/08/2012 22:45:00|
|837 forum posts|
Horizontal Belt Linisher: A tool which, when turned on, will promptly project and distribute anything left on top of it in a pretty straight line behind it. Please don't ask me how I know this...
Machine light: A tool which demonstrates errors in your work, directly in proportion to how bright it is.
Edited By Steve Garnett on 25/08/2012 22:48:38
|392 forum posts|
From personal experience today:
HEIGHT GAUGE: An instrument which will prompt you to find out what scrap iron is worth when used in conjunction with a surface plate to check if the bearing surfaces above and below the saddle of a Chinese lathe are in parallel planes .
SCRAPER: something you will need after finding how little the scrapyard will pay.
ANGLE GRINDER: used in the Far East to create dovetails etc, and in the West as a time-saving precursor to the scraper.
879 forum posts
Thanks for the laugh
|Ian Welford||02/09/2012 22:44:07|
|296 forum posts|
A couple more observations
Superglue - adhesive developed for space programme to ensure astonauts do not come loose from the spacecraft one stuck. Excellent for attaching self to project which you have just degreased and dried so it can adhere perfects but it just choses to attach you ( ignoring grease on hands, clothes etc) in preferance to the parts you wanted attached.
Note- NEVER try to remove tube stuck to fingers with your lips . No don't ask but it was a good 20 minutes before we took my brother to casualty ( couldn't drive whilst crying with sympathy- honest ! )
Cellulose thinners excellent cleaning agent for degreasing, alos good for removing "unbreakable handles" from screwdrivers. Again don't ask!
Router method of making vast amounts of wood dusk which settles ( eventually) on the freshly painted model in the next room, Said dust is capable of travelling through the time space continuum via closed doors and just to attach to the model.
Machine Worklight - device for warming hand in cooler weather and generating smoke when "coolant spray" hits the bulb. Designed to direct light to just reflect off your safety glasses whilst obscuring view of the work with it's shade.
Quick release air fitting - method of taking compressed air from the compressor to the airtool and refusing to part with it until begged!
|I.M. OUTAHERE||03/09/2012 07:16:26|
|1468 forum posts|
Very funny !
The skit about the engine starter was from a show called the comedy company that ran here in Australia .
How they didn't cop a law suit from WYNNES is beyond me !
They also did a skit featuring a suspension repair spray call the suspensions r**ted and one for the whole car is r**ted .
It was hillarious !
SHIFTER /ADJUSTABLE WRENCH : Used to machine the hexagonal flats from bolts and nuts , also doubles as a hammer .
STILLSONS /PIPE WRENCH Used to apply a knurl to the bolt heads that were macined by the shifter or anything else that is deemed too round to get a spanner on, also doubles as a hammer - should come with instructions as some can't seem to come to GRIPS with the fact they only grip in one direction .
|Joseph Ramon||03/09/2012 09:26:58|
107 forum posts
Obviously inspired them to dreate the 'real' product:
Presumably it's like Bradex Easy Start - ether and various other nice-smelling things in an aerosol.
Edited By Joseph Ramon on 03/09/2012 09:27:19
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