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How Many People Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb on the Forum?

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Neil Wyatt17/02/2021 12:25:25
19033 forum posts
734 photos
80 articles

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in a Forum thread?

• 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

• 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

• 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

• 17 purists who use candles and are offended by light bulb discussions.

• 6 to argue over whether it's 'lightbulb' or 'light bulb'.

• Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.

• 22 to tell THOSE 6 to stop being idiots.

• 2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is 'lamp'.

• 15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that 'light bulb' is perfectly correct.

• 19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a light bulb forum.

• 11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant here.

• 36 People to post pics of their own light bulbs.

• 15 People to post "I can't see ****!" and use their own light bulbs.

• 6 to report the post to an admin because someone said "****"

• 4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".

• 13 to say "Do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".

• 1 to bring politics into the discussion by adding that {insert politician of choice} isn't the brightest bulb. This usually takes place within the first three comments.

• 50 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.

• 5 admins to ban the light bulb posters who took it all too seriously.

• 1 late arrival to comment on the original post 6 months later and start it all over again.

<Adopted from a famous skit about Facebook>

Dave Halford17/02/2021 12:31:01
2050 forum posts
23 photos

Nice one Neil, I admit to being one of the 4, but I'm not bitter.

noel shelley17/02/2021 12:44:19
1345 forum posts
21 photos

VERY Funny !!! Time on your hands ? Now I will have to decide which category I fall into and see If the forum agree ! Noel

I think you have got us all with this one ! How long before more categories are added ?

Edited By noel shelley on 17/02/2021 12:47:25

Brian H17/02/2021 12:47:11
2312 forum posts
112 photos

Excellent post Neil, made me smile because it is uncannily accurate.


Edited By Brian H on 17/02/2021 12:47:29

Bob n About17/02/2021 12:47:23
60 forum posts
1 photos

I have a filament bulb, if anyone is up for an argument ?

noel shelley17/02/2021 12:50:03
1345 forum posts
21 photos

What is the relationship between colour and voltage ? Noel

Rik Shaw17/02/2021 12:53:45
1483 forum posts
398 photos

For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However,
recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs
don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark
suckers.  The dark sucker theory, according to a spokesman from the Labs,
proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of
light, and that dark is faster than light. 

The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take
for example the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less dark
right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker,
the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have
a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. 

As with all things, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of
dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full
dark sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the
first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been
sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating
candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the path of the dark
flowing into the candle. Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have
a very limited range. 

There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in these can't handle all
of the dark by themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When
the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced
before the portable dark sucker can operate again. 

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass
generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker.
Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in the solid
wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount of heat. Thus
it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle. 

Dark is also heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice
it gets darker and darker. When you reach a depth of approximately fifty
feet, you are in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to
the bottom of the lake and the ligher light floats to the top. 

The immense power of dark can be utilized to a man's advantage. We can
collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes and push it
through turbines, which generates electricity and helps push it to the
ocean where it may be safely stored. Prior to turbines, it was much more
difficult to get dark from rivers and lakes to the ocean. The Indians
recognized this problem and tried to solve it. When on a river in a canoe
traveling in the same direction as the flow of dark, they paddled slowly,
so as not to stop the flow of dark, but when they traveled against the
flow of dark, they paddled quickly so as to help push the dark along its

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you stand in an
illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then slowly open the
door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet, but since the dark
is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet. 

In conclusion, Bell Labs stated that dark suckers make all our lives much
easier. So the next time you look at an electric light bulb, remember that
it is indeed a dark sucker.


jimmy b17/02/2021 12:53:46
786 forum posts
42 photos

You missed the 15 that will call it a lamp...


Bazyle17/02/2021 13:02:38
6324 forum posts
222 photos

You got the start wrong..

First post is someone who has bought a box of 10 lightbulbs but is a newbie and wants to know how they are used. Later it transpires his aim is to make a mortorbike unsafe before selling it on ebay.
20 posts follow about the merits of used lightbulbs over new Chinese ones and visa versa.
2 regulars post how they have WW2 searchlights to illuminate the 'smallest room' and nothing smaller will do.
6 posts about returning their lightbulb to Warco/Chester because they didn't realise you had to plug it in to make it work.
After 100 posts explainig things to the OP he gets in a huff and declares he was a professional lighting engineer for 75 years and is leaving the forum.

Bob n About17/02/2021 13:03:13
60 forum posts
1 photos


JasonB17/02/2021 13:06:03
22750 forum posts
2653 photos
1 articles

You also missed

2 that will ask the OP to post a photo

1 Op who will ask how to post photos

3 who will answer the above

7 who will moan about how the forum handles inserting images

4 Who will tell the OP his image is sideways

4 Who will tell him its upside down

1 Of those 4 will say it's OK in Australia

1 Mod who will have to rotate it.

5 others who will ask why the post shows a Mod edited it

5 who will suggest LED over Traditional

2 Who will post links to banned suppliers

1 who will moan that google will record you searching for lighbulbs/lamps/light bulbs and take all your details

And so it goes on to

1 Smart A** who will ask if you want the mean or median answer

7 who will debate mean, average and median


Edited By JasonB on 17/02/2021 13:08:51

V8Eng17/02/2021 13:21:11
1701 forum posts
1 photos

Changing light bulbs! I thought that was a servants job.😉

Edited By V8Eng on 17/02/2021 13:22:18

Journeyman17/02/2021 13:24:43
1159 forum posts
235 photos

I think the forum lightbulb should be changed to an LED wink


Edit: Jason got there before me!

Edited By Journeyman on 17/02/2021 13:29:06

Martin Kyte17/02/2021 13:40:38
2753 forum posts
48 photos

and the social scientist who insists that the light bulb must really want to change.



Derek Lane17/02/2021 13:48:04
761 forum posts
171 photos

And the last question is have we got that many active members to make all those posts

Former Member17/02/2021 13:52:06
1085 forum posts

[This posting has been removed]

not done it yet17/02/2021 13:55:38
6809 forum posts
20 photos

The second ‘6’ is wrong. It only takes one, and the thread gets changed.🙂

John Haine17/02/2021 14:23:34
4673 forum posts
273 photos

Real light bulbs have a bayonet not a thread...

Dave Halford17/02/2021 14:28:29
2050 forum posts
23 photos
  • 7 who say it should be a 3phase light bulb running though a VFD.
Jeff Dayman17/02/2021 14:28:38
2225 forum posts
47 photos

what about "I don't like the font and colour of the 'bulb' posts" or "the real problem with bulb changes is that the house is hard to rotate under the bulb" smiley

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